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I Can't Date Jesus: Love, Sex, Family, Race, and Other Reasons I've Put My Faith in Beyoncé, by Michael Arceneaux
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Review
“There are stories that simply demand to be told and Michael Arceneaux’s is one such story. In I Can’t Date Jesus: Love, Sex, Family, Race, and Other Reasons I’ve Put My Faith in Beyoncé, Arceneaux writes from his life as a black gay man with an uncanny strength of conviction and such fine wit. The essays collected here reveal Arceneaux at his finest, as he grapples with the very things that shape our lives – faith, family, and finding a way into the world he wants to be a part of. Whether he is writing about coming to terms with his father’s rage or his complicated relationship to Christianity or his trepidations about dating and finding human connection, Arceneaux makes keen observations and sculpts beauty from the ugly things a lesser writer would shy away from…The critical thinking, from beginning to end, is outstanding. I Can’t Date Jesus is a must-read collection from a rising, unforgettable voice.”—Roxane Gay"In this collection, Michael Arceneaux is as vulnerable as he is hilarious, sharp as he is shady, thoughtful as he is THOT-ty. With wit, heart, and keen self-awareness, he allows us to see him in totality and forces us to feel our way through his journey toward contentment, wholeness and reconciliation with faith and family as an unapologetically black, queer and Southern man. I know our patron saint Beyoncé would be proud!"—Janet Mock, New York Times bestselling author of Redefining Realness and Surpassing Certainty“I Can’t Date Jesus is both a Genesis and a Revelation. As he turns his brilliant, cynical, and critical eye on his own selfhood with sustained attention, Michael Arceneaux uncovers each layer of humanity and hilarity with the same unflinching authenticity he has brought to politics and popular culture for a decade. Like his god, Beyoncé, Michael has a ‘Negro, Creole, and Texas Bama’ alchemy that will leave you weak with recognition, regret, and joy. I Can’t Date Jesus reveals who Michael is and reveals who we are; in doing this, it elevates itself from personal memoir to definitive text of why it matters to be black, to be gay, to be young, and to be human in this moment.” – Melissa Harris-Perry“THIS BOOK IS MY BIBLE.”— Samantha Irby“In I Can't Date Jesus, Michael Arceneaux uses humor not as a spectacle or shield, but as a razor-sharp tool to welcome us into his world, his home, and his memories. Every chapter in the book is packed with subtext and the brilliantly ruthless wit we’ve come to expect from Arceneaux. More than any book I've read recently, I heard this book as much as I read it, and most amazingly, at the same time, the book and its incredible author heard and saw the black communities that made many of us. It is brilliant.”— Kiese Laymon“Michael's voice is so specific and so relatable—reading his book felt like reading letters from a friend I've known all my life. He isn't afraid to say the things the rest of us are too scared to say out loud. He's a rebel with hot sauce in his bag. It's hard not to smile and body roll while reading every chapter.”— Lena Waithe"Lots of stories have been told on being a black man in American, but I Can't Date Jesus is one many haven't heard, both in print and their everyday lives. Michael Arceneaux's story about family, religion and sexuality is ultimately one about manhood, and one we must listen to more. It is funny, thoughtful, biting and most importantly, totally sincere."—Bomani Jones "[A] witty and powerful collection of personal essays . . . . Arceneaux’s confident voice and unapologetic sense of humor will appeal to fans of Roxane Gay.”— Publishers Weekly “Arceneaux is as joyful as he is shrewd; his writing is affecting, whether describing the pain of his mother’s disapproval or the power of Beyoncé’s music. His moments of levity are like little rest stops on the thorny path through the loss and redefinition of faith as a gay black man. How lucky we are to have Arceneaux as our guide.” —BuzzFeed, Best Nonfiction Books of 2018 “I Can’t Date Jesus will leave you cracking up with laughter and nodding your head like you’re in the front row at church….Arceneaux’s voice is insightful, witty and bold, giving us a much-needed personal narrative that challenges society to do better, as he reflects on the lessons he has learned.” —The Grio, “10 Books by Black Authors We Loved in 2018”“Arceneaux's essays penetrate to the heart of intersectionality to reveal personal and religious trials of faith. Together, they make a powerful statement of self-acceptance in a world much in need of lessons about diversity, tolerance, and openness. A funny, fierce, and bold memoir in essays.”— Kirkus Reviews“Arceneaux is a hysterically funny, vulnerable writer whose memoir is a triumph of self-exploration, tinged with but not overburdened by his reckoning with our current political moment….He navigates with crucial nuance his many worlds as they’ve hemmed him in, made him stronger, and brought him to new places. The result is a piece of personal and cultural storytelling that is as fun as it is illuminating.”— Bridget Read, Vogue
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About the Author
Michael Arceneaux is a Houston-bred, Howard University-educated writer currently living in Harlem. Covering issues related to culture, sexuality, religion, race, and Beyoncé, Michael has written for Complex, Essence, The Guardian, New York Magazine, the New York Times, The Root, and many other publications. Additionally, he has lent his commentary to such outlets as MSNBC, NPR, SiriusXM, VH1, and Viceland.
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Product details
Paperback: 256 pages
Publisher: Atria / 37 INK (July 24, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9781501178856
ISBN-13: 978-1501178856
ASIN: 1501178857
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.9 out of 5 stars
90 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#15,565 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
“Some parts of my life are sad, but I am not a sad spirit.†So reads a line from the epilogue to I Can’t Date Jesus, a touching, honest, and highly entertaining collection of reflections from Michael Arceneaux, one of my favorite culture writers. I completed this book quite quickly as I was devouring it similarly to the way I often do writings by Arceneaux: with many an internal head nod, several audible chuckles, and constant reminders that despite being my opposite in so many ways, Michael Arceneaux writes in a manner that feels familiar and engaging all the same. As stated in many reviews and in the interviews I have seen concerning it, this book relays the story that isn’t shared often enough but surely deserves its rightful place in the minds of many. In relaying his story, one full of heartbreaking and hilarious moments alike, Arceneaux is able to elevate his voice and thus offer space for others who feel similarly, share parallel experiences, are starved for this needed perspective, or a combination of all three. Despite being fully intrigued by the story being told, I did experience some moments where I wish the details allotted were reserved for the points I felt more compelling as a reader. Given this is something that can likely be attributed to personal preference, it’s surely not a detail to dissuade a potential reader from picking this up. At its core, this collection offers insight into the experiences that yielded an incredibly gifted writer and offered a layer of humanity and additional honesty I didn’t know I needed to someone I have long supported by way of many a retweet, click, or share. Definitely one I recommend!
When I first started reading I can't Date Jesus, I was unimpressed. It seemed pretty shallow ,and the author very narcissistic. But the more I read, it felt like the more the author had evolved as a person, the more he was a very interesting individual, and the more depth he had ,and was able to convey, in a very concise and clear writing style.This seems like a person to me, that has really found his vocation in life. Not having had a Black-American experience, atleast,, this current lifetime, or being a writer, it was very interesting to read about the author's life experiences thus far, and his being gay as well. That's quite a bit to deal with in our society.I thought that the ending to the book was very good, and really summed up where he is right now, and am looking forward to reading more from him in the future.
I grew up in Oakland CA in the 40's & 50's and went to Castlemont H.S. At that time Castlemont was ~30% black. By the time I left home a black couple moved in next to my parents. After finishing "I Can't Date Jesus" I must say that I learned more about black culture than I did by living in Oakland. Michael Arceneaux's relationship with his father was very similar to my relationship with my father. This book is not just about the trials of a gay black guy trying to find his identity, it's about the human process and how we all mature and hopefully become adults. Read this book!
Mr. Arceneaux, a fellow Houstonian, is a RIOT. I had to get the book after hearing his interview on NPR. He is the funniest (and most insightful) Redbone I have run across. When the NPR interviewer (Terry. If I am Interviewing You- You MUST Be All That), she asked him about coming out to his mother. Mr. Arceneaux said that his mom outed him (his words "clocked him") by saying "I know people at school make fun of the way you talk and walk" to which he replied "GrUUUUUL, No they Don't (finger snap). PLEEAASE!The book is laugh out loud funny. Everyone, go buy a copy to help this poor child with his student loans (he says Ms. Sallie MAE is working his nerves).His description of college life at Howard (where my dad went but wouldn't let me go) was priceless. He talked about the "TV Black People" or the Upper Upper Middle-Class 2nd/3rd generation Howard students from ultra-private schools and how they looked down on him when he first arrived at Howard because he went to a very unfashionable high school (Madison), which is in a kind of strange area. It is (was) very suburban, mixed but then us Black folk moved in and took over the whole neighborhood. Now, every house has burglar bars on every window and door.Having come from the exact group of people that initially terrorized him at Howard, all I can say is I UNDERSTAND. All of my very bourgeois friends that went to Howard seemed to connect with all of the other national Upper Upper Middle-Class 2nd/3rd gens. got so much worse (much bigger snobs) when they came back from Howard. They all became very skin-tone conscious, which I am sure did not pose a problem for Mr. Arceneaux, being a proud Redbone( like Queen B)., money and fashion conscious. To make matters worse, the kids that went to Howard were the most popular in the neighborhood (3rd Ward - not by Madison) so all of the rest of us followed their lead and became just like them. I thought it was cute - the whole act. When I was in medical school, I had a roommate (from Howard) that was very dark black. I am fairly light, but not Redbone light brown. I had the whole class calling him Sam (which was not his name) - short for Sambo, and he did not appreciate it a bit. I thought it was funny, I still wish I went to Howard.
I Can't Date Jesus is a great book for anyone seeking to understand how one's multiple identities can position their social location in society. Michael does a great job of keeping such a serious subject light hearted, but at the same time he provides much substance to topics discussed throughout the book. Michael's transparent, direct, and humorous honesty invites the reader to engage in an amazing journey through his humanity in ways that I believe is needed for this day and age. I highly recommend this book for anyone, but particularly for Black and Brown queer folx. Reading through the pages provided many laughs, tears, and healing moments. Thank you for sharing your story, Michael. This book has left an imprint on my mind.
I genuinely enjoyed this book. Arceneaux does a wonderful job blending hard and (sometimes) ugly truths with endearing humor and pop culture references. 10/10 would recommend this book.
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